LIVE INSIDE OUT!!

I never used to think much about styrofoam cups. They were disposable cups that you used when it was more convenient than having real cups. Because styrofoam is soft, unlike plastic, I usually noticed that people would often leave the impressions of their teeth on the rim, especially little children. Other than that, though, a styrofoam cup was, well, just that, a styrofoam cup.

            But one day I noticed a friend of mine flip her styrofoam cup inside out. “Whoa!” I exclaimed, “How did you do that!?” From that point on, my thoughts towards styrofoam cups would be forever changed. I had to know how to flip a styrofoam cup inside out and I was determined to learn.

            Well, unfortunately, it was not as easy as it looked. You start from the bottom and slowly press the bottom into the cup. If you press too hard, though, the bottom may tear or the sides of the cup will rip as you bend it down inside itself. This was proving to be more difficult than I thought and I ripped almost every cup I could get my hands on, turning it into a mangled mess.

            Styrofoam is a little softer after you have had water in it for a little while and it is much easier to work with if you are trying to flip the cup inside out. So I drank my water slowly during meals and let the water sit inside as much as possible. Then I started to work on it. Pressing the bottom of the cup in slowly and evenly all around.

            Finally, success! I had flipped a styrofoam cup inside out without tearing it or mangling it to pieces. I enjoyed my new found skill and worked on it, tearing and mangling a few more cups before finally getting to the point where I could flip almost all of the cups I got my hands on. But, after a while, I moved on and busied myself with things that were more important than flipping styrofoam cups inside out after I used them.

            One day, though, I was struggling with who I was, how God made me and what I was here for. I felt ugly, stupid, worthless, etcetera, etcetera. So I asked God how He saw me and His answer was shocking. “Go get a styrofoam cup.” God told me. How in the world was a styrofoam cup supposed to answer my questions? But I obeyed anyway and went to go find a styrofoam cup.

            All of a sudden, God shared His plan with me. I was stunned at first but then I got very, very excited and went to go borrow several different colored sharpies to start. This was going to be so cool!

            I started to write on the cup all of the words I had used to describe myself, the way I thought about myself, and the way I felt. In big, red letters I wrote “failure” across the side and covered the rest of the cup with other words like dumb and immature, whiny, unloved and weak. The outside of the cup was covered with so many negative words and feelings and I was on the verge of tears remembering the many hurtful instances when I felt this way or began to think of myself like that.

            Then, I carefully flipped the cup inside out and began to cover that side in words too. But these words were very different than the words that were on the other side. The words I wrote this time were the words God used to describe me, the way He saw me. Words like beautiful, powerful, confident, loved and smart.

            I shook my head slowly as I continued writing all over the cup. I did not believe all of the words that I was writing down but I knew what God was telling me and I knew that, with Christ, all things were possible and that He would help my unbelief. This was the way that God saw me and who was I to argue with the One who made me?

            Finally, the cup was finished. What had used to be the inside of the cup and was now the outside, I had written in big, bold, colorful letters “LIVE INSIDE OUT!!” I stared at that that statement and the words surrounding it. Then I looked inside it at the bitter, hateful words before looking at the statement again. My thoughts and feelings about myself were drastically different than the thoughts and feelings God had about me.

            So, from then on, I decided that I needed to live inside out. Not literally, of course, but by keeping my focus on what God thought about me and not on what I thought. I would live in the truth of what God had told me and not by the lies that I had believed for so long. My lies had been covered by the truth of what God had said just like the words written on the outside of the cup had been hidden after it was flipped inside out.

            I still fall back into believing my old lies sometimes but it is never for very long. I know the truth of God’s word and I know what He said me that day with my styrofoam cup. I am not held in bondage by a flawed belief system anymore and I will no longer live crippled by my lies. Instead, I will live my life the way Christ has called me to live. I will live inside out.

NOTE: This is my last required post for Advanced EXCEL and will probably be my last post on this blog for a while. But I have plans to continue posting on this blog and sharing stories and pictures of my life just like I have been now. There just won't be any set day or deadline from now on! Definitely expect to see a post sometime in the next couple of weeks with the title of "Graduation!" :-) Until then, Live Inside Out!!

AE Photo Scavenger Hunt!!!

I had so much fun taking these photos. It was a very nice distraction from doing assignments that were being difficult and I got a lot of neat pictures that I'm going to use in later blog posts. Hope you enjoy looking at mine as much as I enjoy looking at yours!

1. Stapler: I've never been very talented with one these. 

2. Reflections: Who is that I see staring back at me?

3. Leap: Da da daaa!! It's the amazing wonderdog, Hope, to the rescue! 

 

4. Fears: Held captive by the lies I believe(d), with no way out save the power of Jesus Christ.

5. Coffee: My own design for all my friends that love coffee. What do ya think?

6. Time: So much to do, so little time. 

7. Squirrel: My older brother's "Secret Squirrel" Army tee-shirt. He's not a very nice looking squirrel is he?

8. White Trash: Interesting concept that rendered interesting comments from my family. This picture was snapped as the trash was being taken out and this paper towel fell out of the bag. 

9. Date: June 19th, AE graduation. I found the "holiday" listed on the day before to be ironic.

10. Police: Before my older brother switched branches to go into the Army, he was an Air Force Security Cop and he's got the badge to prove it (plus a gun and handcuffs to enforce it!)

11. Self Portrait: Ta-daa! 

12. Making a Statement: LIVE  INSIDE OUT!!

13: A Memory: Some of my most fondest memories have been hatching out baby chicks and watching how each life, even animal life, is so intricately designed. This is a brand new Turken chick, (also known as Naked Necks because this breed of chicken does not have feathers on its neck like a turkey.) that hatched only about 10 minutes before I took this picture.

14. Weather: Raindrops on my window and a gloomy sky promising more.

15: Broken: God, can you please fix my broken heart?

16. Green: Nailpolish = painted nails = girl time = happiness!!!

17. Music: Make a joyful noise unto the Lord...

18. A Favorite Thing: My most favorite piece of jewelry that my sister got me for my birthday. Big, loud, red... definitely a favorite!

19. A Tool: I have always had an odd fascination with saw blades. The sharp edges are just super cool to me for some reason. But don't ask me to use one because, remember, I'm not very good with a stapler and I would really like for all my friends to live and stay in one piece whenever they're around me... and I would like to stay in one piece too, for that matter! 

20. Vanishing Point: I don't know what's waiting for me down this road but God does so I'm leaving it in His hands.

21. Funny: Little brothers, a never-ending source of fun and entertainment with lots of hugs a laughter in between!!! I love this soon-to-not-be-so-little guy, he's the best baby brother anyone could ask for!

My Life Through God's Eyes

My name is Kristin Lanae Stevens. Without Christ, my name is void of any meaning or purpose. Without meaning or purpose, I am nothing, I have nothing, and I will always be nothing. 

Upon receiving God’s gift of salvation my name is all of a sudden bursting with meaning and purpose. My name is no longer just a title I go by but a description of my identity in Christ. My name gives me a meaning for my life and a purpose for being here in this world.

 

All my sin has been washed away by the precious Blood of my Savior. God has separated me from my sin as far as the east is from the west. My Father no longer sees my sin and wickedness but looks at the holiness of His beloved Son instead. I am now a passionate follower of Jesus Christ seeking to serve Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength

I can stand bold and confident in my Father's everlasting love for me no matter what the situation may be. I have the power to stay faithful to Him in every difficult circumstance He may ask me to experience. Knowing full well that there is nothing I will go through that my Lord has not already gone through Himself. 

I have been crowned with the anointing of God’s word. He has chosen me and set me apart for a special purpose. I am under the watchful eye of Jesus as he molds and shapes me for the role He designed for me. I am being prepared and made ready for the moment the Master calls me for His use.

I am a follower of Christ, full of faith, and God’s anointed. In and of myself, I am absolutely nothing but through Christ, I am everything. Through Christ, I am and will always be, Kristin Lanae Stevens.

Ten Things...

TEN THINGS I WANT SAID ABOUT ME WHEN I DIE

1.) I changed someone's life.

2.) I was friendly and fun to be with.

3.) I genuinely cared about people.

4.) I showed others how to find freedom in Christ

5.) I led by example.

6.) I was someone who could be trusted.

7.) I was honest and open.

8.) I gave God the glory and was obedient to Him.

9.) I was an excellent communicator.

10.) I was a giver not a taker.

TEN THINGS I DON'T WANT SAID ABOUT ME WHEN I DIE

1.) I distracted someone from God.

2.) I was whiny and always complained.

3.) I was fake / hypocritical.

4.) I was critical and judgmental.

5.) I didn't live out my beliefs.

6.) I had low standards

7.) I was a bad leader / I couldn't lead.

8.) I was always scared and cowardly.

9.) I did nothing for God.

10.) I gave up or quit on everything. 

(Grace wrote on my paper "Are any of these lies that you believe might happen?"  and the answer is yes, some of these are lies that I have believed happened or will happen and if I had to write the paper over again I would replace everything but 1, 4, 5, and 6. I did not change the list because I did not have the time and because I felt like God wanted me to be honest with y'all and tell you this.)

TEN THINGS I THINK ABOUT OFTEN.

 

1.) God.

2.) Various things about EXCEL like memories, dreams, etc.

3.) Memories from Advanced EXCEL.

4.) My older brother.

5.) My health.

6.) Regional Training Conferences at Big Sandy. 

7.) What I am going to do after I graduate high school this winter.

8.) Getting my permit and learning to drive. (YIKES!!!!!)

9.) Graduation for Advanced EXCEL. (I totally can't wait for this day.)

10.) What my friends are doing right now. ;-)

TEN THINGS I WANT(ED) TO BE WHEN I "GROW UP."

1.) A gymnast.

2.) A ballerina.

3.) A figure skater.

4.) A secretary.

5.) A counselor.

6.) A public speaker.

7.) A journalist.

8.) A dancer.

9.) An actress.

10. A singer. 

(4, 5, 6, and 9 fall into the "want" to be category while everything else was what I "wanted" to be when I was little. I also wanted to be an astronaut, too. So there is your random comment of the day!) :-)

TEN THINGS THAT REALLY MAKE ME MAD.

1.) Bossy people.

2.) People that have bad attitudes which negatively affect others the around them, like me.

3.) Extremely loud rock music with horrible lyrics that almost succeed in exploding  your eardrums out of your head.

4.) Sarcastic comments that make me feel stupid/sad/insert negative feeling here. (To me, sarcasm is NOT a love language and I only enjoy sarcasm when both parties are involved and the comments are done in a joking, non-serious way. This is purely my own personal opinion and if you think sarcasm is a love language then I am glad that you know what makes you feel loved.)

5.) Being tethered by an IV in my arm in the hospital.

6.)  Obnoxious children and their parents that allow them to act that way.

7.) Abortion.

8.) When I am too tired or sick to leave the house.

9.) Really loud noises (see # 3) that are annoying and irritating like my dog barking at everything including her own shadow, construction and loud machinery, clanging pots and pans, shattering glass, even people who talk really loud.

10.) Awkward moments of silence on the telephone.

TEN THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH.

1.) Hockey, football and any other sport that causes full grown men and women to stand up and shout at the TV as if the players could actually hear them.

2.) The mushy, sappy, romantic parts in movies that are so overdone and ridiculous. (I do not recommend watching a romantic movie with me unless you're ok with my laughing at the parts where you're supposed to go "awwww!" I honestly can't think of any romance movie that I've seen that I don't laugh in the middle of a "serious" moment. Except maybe "Jane Eyre" but that's because I think that movie is creepy/scary.)

3.) Watching my dog run across our wood flooring and then try to stop at the door only to discover that she has no traction and continues to slide into the the wall or the door. It's funny.

4.) Rachel's adorable little sister, Grace who comes up with completely random and off the wall comments. I love that girl!

5.) Older people that try to dress like teenagers and stay up on the current fashion trends.

6.) Bikini swimsuits. (It's a roommate joke, don't ask.)

7.) Little kids in the nursery.

8.) My neighbor's cows that stare at me awkwardly whenever I go outside.

9.) My sister.

10.) Boys, especially my brothers. Boys are funny.

TEN THINGS THAT SCARE ME.

1.) Walking through the house at night because my siblings used to jump out at me in the dark.

2.) This may sound weird but I always check behind the bathtub curtain because someone could be hiding in there and try to scare me. (Yes, I'm paranoid and I blame it on my siblings.)

3.) Someone breaking in my house at night.

4.) Hearing strange noises outside at night.  

5.) Sleeping in a room all alone at night. (Yes, the night scares me, alright. But I do love looking at the moon and the stars.)

6.) Dark rooms.

7.) Rats. (I promise you, I did NOT pray for Huey. Rats are creepy.)

8.) Waking up after a nightmare.

9.) More pain, physical and emotional. If I know it will hurt, I really don't want to do it. (Think Big Sandy camping trip for AE.)

10.) When I get sick again.

TEN THINGS I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE. (Two have happened!)

1.) I want to go to EXCEL. (About this time last year was when my dad told me I could go. I went to EXCEL 31 last fall.)

2.) I want to go to Advanced EXCEL. (Currently happening.)

 

3.) I want to go serve a missionary overseas as a nanny, housekeeper, etc.

4.) I want to be a team leader for EXCEL.

4.) I want to get a major in psychology/counseling with TELOS.

5.) I want to work at Headquarters with IBLP for at least 1 year but preferably 2.

6.) I want to be a wife and mom.

7.) I want to work on permanent staff at the Dallas Ministry Center (I really like this place, can you tell,)

8.) I want to get a Mac laptop computer of my own. (Shallow, I know but I really do want one!)

9.) I want to visit all of the ATI Training Centers. (I've only seen two so far...)

10.) I want to work in Big Sandy with the ALERT Cadet office and help with the Regional Conferences (I think it would be SO cool to get to carry one of those walkie-talkies.)

(These are in no particular order just so you know.)